Oh well, thats how the cookie crumbles some times

He hasn't called or come over. I thought that he might since Josh called him to come play HALO. But he didn't. I guess there is something more to it that I don't know. I was thinking about calling him and asking if he wanted to go to a movie, but I don't think so. I don't want to push anything that doesn't exist or make him feel uncomfortable and since I don't rank up there with the hot girls that he so longs to be with I might as well forget about it. Oh well, thats how it goes sometimes.

I think I mentioned this before. I may have found a job, something to keep me occupied for the time being anyways. I went to the Children's Courtyard today, I used to work there, and they told me that the Lamar center was hiring and to call them and see. Well they are hiring a big floor manager which is right below assistant director and Cindy thinks that I would do well at that and is going to recommend me. Plus they need someone with a CDL and since I have one I may be set. I'm supposed to go over there tomorrow to meet the afterschool manager and see the bus route and meet the kids. Maybe that will pan out and I will have money for a while. Atleast enough to get a new car since I need one really bad, with mine leakind oil like no other.

I did pretty well at HALO today, it was fun, even without the boy. UGH! I need to get over this!

I'm going to go and get another pap smear tomorrow and more birth control, hopefully this one will come back clear and there will be nothing wrong with me. I would really hate to lose the ability to have children, especially now. I have always wanted to have kids of my own.

I hate the fact that lately I have been having this pitty party for myself. Its feel as if I will never meet a guy and never settle down. Almost like it isn't meant to be for me. I have always felt that way though. Kinda like there just wasn't someone out there for me. If thats what is supposed to happen then I guess it will, but come on God, you could let me know some how.

The new shoes are fun. I'll probably wear them tomorrow. I need to do laundry so that I have something to wear. So I guess that mean I'm out.

Later.